thankful.

(C) Kelvin Chua

these are our wedding bands - hammered, soldered and forged together with our very own four hands. we had to keep them safe and sound for more than six months before we could finally put them on.

of course, the unthinkable happened a mere two months later - C lost his band. we were both devastated. I felt hysterical, and all i could think about was: this cannot be bought again, just like that, from the shops. it was a unicum, for goodness sake! what should we do now? typical me. or should i say, the me i have become, over the years. 

C blew his top when I could not stop pushing all the blame on him. I had been the one who had to take the band on and off several times a day whilst practicing the piano, and I thought I would be the first to lose it. I felt like I could not forgive him for this. 

but then, C put it all into perspective for me with these words:

"Hey, it is just a ring. It is just an object, no matter how much it symbolises to us. I am still alive, I am still healthy, and the love between us is still very much present. And these are the Real Important Stuff. They cannot be lost,  just like that. And for that we should be thankful." 

you know what? he is so right. and i am so grateful to have him by my side, reminding me of this. it is so easy to fall into the trap of focusing on what we lack and all we have lost. yet it is so much more enriching (and so simple too!) to focus on the other side of things: what we still DO have, what we gain everyday. 

sometimes, our possessions chain us down - to memories, emotions, people, and milestones in our lives. however, all these will always be within us, even when the possessions are gone. they are a part of our being. and no one can take them away from us. 

i am learning every day, to be able to let go - of objects, of the fear of loss (be it money, time, and yes, even lives), and to live fully in each present moment. this simple message from C has allowed me to live with less resentment, fear, and anger. it has helped me channel these into being grateful for the opportunities to learn, to live more freely without self-imposed, unnecessary stress, and to give to others. its amazing how thin the line between these two extreme thought processes is! 

and you know what? i took off my ring after C lost his (did not make much sense to wear mine alone...to me at least!) and it was liberating! one less worry each day! ;)